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I Have Loads of Facebook “Friends”, So Why Am I Still Lonely?

The art of communication is being dismantled piece by piece in this electronic culture that has permeated every aspect of society.  The internet although something of great benefit and value, has been largely responsible for this alarming trend.  We can pass along the most intimate facts of our lives to virtual strangers.  It is easy to type aspirations, desires, frustrations, fears and successes for the massive yet indefinite sea of people to peruse and comment about.  

However, this can be very isolating with the screen as a concealed wall between people.  There is truly little substantial relationships being built as these electronic connections are superficial at best.

The highs and lows of the day correlate with how many likes we got on a post.  If no one is liking or following us we feel the defeat of failure.   Communication has become one sided.  The art of communication is vanishing with the upcoming generation.  There are even paid sites to increase your traffic so that it looks like more people are interested in your posts than reality dictates.  Those people so insecure, or prideful that appearances are more important to them than reality; are key people to become depressed, lonely and vulnerable in this age where the electronic focus is prevalent.

The youth are the most susceptible to the depression that comes from feeling alone.  Older people have the history of knowing how to relate, interact and communicate in “real time” with “real people.”  Although, their circle of friends may have diminished through death or relocation, they have that blanket of security that in their life time they have developed meaningful, substantial relationships. 

“Find a place where there are real people, go there and begin getting to know people one by one.”

Depression and anxiety once basically adult maladies are in epidemic proportions with the youth.  Humans are born with an innate desire to fellowship, to have human touch, to enjoy human interaction.  Studies show that touch can ease pain, lift depression and increase endorphins.  But it is even more critical than this.  Studies show that babies who are not held and cuddled physically stop growing and if this situation goes on long enough even with the proper nutrition they can die.

When the part of society that includes human interaction and human touch is stripped away or greatly diminished, the result can be depression, loneliness, and even suicidal tendencies. 

The youth can type out dreams, aspirations, frustrations, and desires, but in an increasing number of cases they cannot express those same feelings in person.  It makes all the human relationships superficial and, in some cases, meaningless.  They have a thousand Facebook “friends” or “followers” on Twitter but are still alone and lonely.

The physical and mental detriment of loneliness can be harmful to people of all ages.  It has become a serious health concern!

So, how do we correct this astronomical problem?  You replace the missing ingredient!  Put down the phone and begin to make real, human, physical relationships.

Find a place where there are real people, go there and begin getting to know people one by one.

So, what can I do?

  • Join a sports team or activity club.
  • Join a support group that interests you.
  • Join a book club.
  • Volunteer. (org, idealist.org, and pointsoflight.org/handsonnetwork)
  • Visit Nursing Homes.
  • Invite one local Facebook “friend” out for coffee or lunch each week.
  • Get to know your neighbou
  • Get a dog and meet other dog lovers at dog parks.
  • Host a Party.
  • Go hiking.
  • Attend local cultural events and on purpose meet new people.
  • Get a gym membership.
  • Take a class you would enjoy.

Don’t be a victim of loneliness and depression because you get trapped in the vortex of an electronic world.  There is a big, beautiful world out there and it’s not written in code!  There are interesting people, places and activities to enjoy.  Lift your head from your screen (your neck will thank you!) and start really living not just virtual living!

Host Your Best House Party Yet by Inviting Strangers!

A stranger is a potential friend who you have not yet met.  When you invite strangers to a home dinner party, you improve your chance of enlarging your friend base and will most certainly increase your circle of acquaintances.

The concept of inviting people you do not know into your home can at first be intimidating.  We all like to feel comfortable and the unknown can be a little scary!  Not only that, it has been ingrained in most people since childhood that all strangers are dangerous and out to cause us harm.  Although this is a rarity, the word “stranger” has a shadow of fear associated with it.  Done right, you can dispel those spectral fears and enjoy the rewards of hosting your own dinner with people outside your circle of friends! The rewards will outweigh any preconceived notions you may be harboring. 

Why should one invite strangers into the sanctity of their home? 

It is a great first ingredient to the recipe for a great party!

A good party is centered around two things.  Good food and good conversation.  You are in control of the first thing, good food.   However, good conversation is out of your control and is up to the group.  When you invite friends and acquaintances the conversation usually deteriorates into gossip about mutual friends, work related incidents, who just bought a new big-ticket item, etc.  This does not make for scintillating conversation!  Generally, friends and acquaintances will have pre-established opinions and presumptions.  There can be quite a bit of interrupting and over talking one another when a group is already comfortable together

When you invite strangers to your event you will invite fresh new stories.  There will be new opinions to share and the thrill of discovery.  With strangers you do not have the shared context to catch up on the banalities of life; work, home life, and relationships.  Your conversation will be free to meander to a variety of interesting topics.  You will be free to discover personalities, interests, and learn new things when you expand outside your circle of friends and acquaintances.  It will give you opportunity to expand your horizons and make some potentially life-long friends.  It gives you the prospect for creative collaboration between people with the time to philosophize, experiment, discuss, learn and teach. 

Hosting a party with strangers gives the opportunity for honest-to-goodness human interaction, real face time; and the chance to put expression, body language and voice inflection into a real conversation with real people.

Why else should you invite strangers into your home?

If you are single and looking for companionship, friendship and perhaps even love.

Watch any show on television and you will find fictional TV characters successfully meeting someone at a club or bar, hence the classification of fiction!  Bars and Clubs unfortunately can replicate a meat market environment with all the would be players heading out like huntsmen with the intention of “bagging” a one night stand or die trying.  As time progresses the place becomes louder, rowdier with desperate men and women utilizing the liquid bravery in their veins to get the attention of someone, anyone, with either crazy antics or bad pick-up lines.

The hopes for success in finding a meaningful relationship in this environment are fundamentally flawed from the offset!  But what do you do when you feel that you have already eliminated any acquaintance from your potential match list?  The answer is actually quite simple.  Host a house party inviting strangers. 

We sometimes believe that our successes are solely determined by how smart or talented we are.  Life accomplishments are important.  Hard work and perseverance are essential ingredients.  But, you would be foolish to negate the fact that oftentimes it is those people who we meet and spend our time with that influences and sometimes shapes our destiny.   There are untold testimonies of couples who met each other through a mutual friend.  Perhaps the stranger you invited into your home isn’t love of your life material; but what if one of their acquaintances is?

What would be another positive factor for hosting a house party for strangers? 

Maybe you and your spouse are new to an area and want to get to know people quickly.

It takes time to make meaningful relationships and friendships when a couple moves to a new area.  You can fast-tract this by hosting a house party for your neighbors that you have not yet met.  Getting to know your neighbors allows for added safety and increases neighborhood comradery.

There are many ways to entertain strangers in your home from having friends invite strangers to hosting a party that is completely made up of strangers.  Regardless of how you go about it, you will enjoy the positive benefits of entertaining strangers!

Host a Great Party – Hassle Free!

Do you want to entertain people in your home, but cringe at the prospect of all the work and time involved? Does the term “house party” bring up visions of deep cleaning, endless cooking and exhausting clean-up?  Did you know that it is possible to host a great party that people will be talking about for weeks without driving yourself to the brink of exhaustion?

The first hurdle is the prospect of cleaning your home.  Often, we feel as if we must deep clean every crack and crevice.  It is really a counterproductive task as that same home will soon have people tracking over those spotless floors and cluttering your home with their belongings. 

Surface clean, feather dust, and straighten clutter.  Thoroughly clean your toilets and sinks but leave the rest to light surface cleaning. Scented candles give a home a warm inviting aroma as does a fresh baked dessert.  Grind coffee beans and set out or brew a fresh pot of coffee right before your guests arrive to give that coffee house ambiance that people just can’t help but love.   

The second hurdle is food prep.  And there are several solutions to that obstacle.  If funds are not limited, you could have your party catered by a local catering company known for good food.  Or you could have everyone bring one side dish and just provide the main course.  Disposable plates also help to save energy on clean-up.

Another option is to co-host the party with a friend.  You can both get the house in order, share cooking and clean-up.

Try and give people peak moments and help people to connect with each other.  It’s not your responsibility to insure everyone has a good time, but you can give them comfort and some excitement.

“If funds are not limited, you could have your party catered by a local catering company known for good food.  Or you could have everyone bring one side dish and just provide the main course.”

First impressions are important.  Be ready to greet that first guest who thinks that 6:00 pm means 5:45 pm.  A hostess who is scrambling around, flustered and unprepared will not set a good tone for the event.

A printed or homemade sign of welcome and basic instructions to come on in and where to put coats would put your guests at ease.  Do what you can to help your guest relax without looking as if you are trying too hard.  

Appetizers, finger foods and beverages always seem to get a group snacking and interacting in a positive fashion.  Soft music will give atmosphere, but not be a distraction from those trying to talk.

With minimal preparation, you can infuse laughter and interest into any event.

Icebreakers may help get the dialog headed in an interesting direction.  You could pass around a basket with various topics that have been folded setting an alarm for three to five minutes.  If someone did not take up the full time that would be fine, but a timer would keep any one person from monopolizing the conversation.

Topics that might be conversation starters could be:

  • What is your biggest pet peeve?
  • What would be your ideal vacation?
  • Who is the most fascinating individual you have met. Why?
  • What is the strangest diet you’ve heard about?

Or ask questions that require one to two-word answers.  In turn each person would give their answer.  This would be easier for your shy guests than expecting a dialog.

For Example:

  • What State where you born in?
  • Weights or Cardio?
  • Dog or Cat?
  • Techie or Non-Techie?
  • Play Hard or Work Hard?
  • Sweet or Salty?
  • Medicine or Natural Remedies
  • Online Shopping or Physical Shopping?
  • Toilet Paper Under or Toilet Paper Over?
  • Spender or Saver?
  • Winter or Summer?
  • Scary Movie or Funny Movie?
  • Rock or Country?
  • Mornings or Evenings?
  • Coke or Pepsi?
  • Diet or Regular?
  • Money or Fame?

It is said that people remember how you made them feel.  It doesn’t take a lot of hustle or hassle to make people feel cared for and welcome in your home!

 GoInvite is here to conquer boredom and loneliness

Here is a little article about GoInvite and what are we up to 🙂 

Below is an english version of Ajujaht article, original article can be found from here http://www.ajujaht.ee/goinvite-digilahendus-uute-sopradega-kohtumiseks/

How?

GoInvite CEO Evelin Mitt says that the app will start to work in two ways – „You can invite whoever (even strangers) to your home event or you can find and attend awesome gatherings,parties hosted by other people.”

Hosts can add their home event information and criterias’ to
the app and for guests, there is a convenient geolocation solution, which makes
it super easy to find Home Events happening near you.

To ensure user safety and transparency , the platform needs
to register with a user account that can be linked to another existing user
account e.g. Facebook or Google.

Why?

There are many solutions in the world, where strangers
can invite you for a dinner at their house, however, GoInvite takes it all a
step further – „ We have a simple digital solution that opens doors to a much
wider audience (karaoke lovers, board game enthusiasts, movie fans
and the list goes on and on ) and connect it to the map application”.

Evelin strongly believes that such Home Events are a lot of
fun and offer way more more than just going to a local pub or cafe
and allow you to meet and interact with new people in a more intimate setting.
„ Knowing that not one or two, but almost everyone’s a stranger, provides a
good opportunity for those who do not have a very wide network of
relationships.”

Who?

Initial target market is primarily people who want to make
new friends, experience new type of events and make great memories. The concept
of the idea will also be tested locally in Estonia, but GoInvite purpose is to
enter European and US market.

But When?

Currently the idea is being tested to get better input for
the development and the app itself will come out in spring 2019.